Stargate Diary
by PlatinumOptimum
Summary: Sam recollects a year later about their failure


Disclaimers - I don't own Stargate SG-1  
  
October 25, 2011  
  
Journal Entry: Last year, I found out that I could never have children. To be honest, I wished to have children since my brother, Mark, and his wife have given dad two children. Unfortunately, that was not the case because the Aschen have sterilized the entire population of Earth. The Aschen were our saviors since they saved us from the onslaught of the Goa'uld. They offered us technology, saved the planet, gave us long life and membership within their confederation. However, they were waiting for us to die to take the planet from us. The Aschen's specialty was manipulating genetics engineering an anti-aging and anti-cancer vaccine to serve to the people of Earth. By introducing it to us, we became sterilized and were living a slow and painful death.  
  
A year ago, Daniel, Joe, Janet, Teal'c and I were celebrating our anniversary meeting with the Aschen. It was ten years ago since the historic event was unprecedented. I was hoping that Jack would be there but Jack O'Neill is a stubborn person who would not let things go. I wonder if that is the reason why he would not talk to us. SG-1 was his life, were his life and yet he left. I still wake up in the night wondering why Jack hates us and went to live in his cabin. Shortly before he left the team and the SGC, he and I had our disagreement leaving bitter comments for each other to swallow.  
  
At that time, I couldn't handle all the events around me: Jack leaving, our disagreements, Daniel and Teal'c feeling sad that Jack left, and our treaty with the Aschen. Fortunately, Joe was there for me. Since he was in the diplomatic corp., he was made aware of the Stargate and the Aschen. After meeting with the Aschen, Joe invited me to dinner and we fell in love. A few years later, the Stargate was publicized to the people. The Aschen offered their friendship and their hospitality by introducing our people with their technology. My marriage to Joe made the headlines since he was promoted as the Aschen's official ambassador. Many high dignitaries greeted me whenever I attended social gatherings with Joe. I even suspect that some were undressing me with their eyes.  
  
When I announced my marriage to Joe to my friends and associates, everybody was happy with my choice but I still felt empty. Although I was promoted to equal rank for my effort in building a solid foundation with the Aschen, I still thought of Jack as my CO and friend. Joe was not happy with my decision to inform Jack about our marriage. He was afraid about my unrequited emotions towards Jack. Moreover, he and Jack had their disagreements about the Aschen. To be honest, Joe and Jack hate each other because Joe stole me away from Jack. He swept me from my feet and I have been on cloud 9 for some time. I gave Jack an invitation to our wedding and he responded that he could not attend. I was disappointed but I knew it was for the best. It was a surprise that Jack showed up at the wedding, kissed me on the cheek, left his present and left. At the reception, I talked to Daniel and the others but they never realized that Jack showed up. He made his presence known to me and only to me. Maybe there is hope for our friendship to be maintained.  
  
On October 25, 2010, after the ceremony honoring us for our initial encounter with the Aschen, Janet brought me aside to talk about Joe and I having our first kid. I was still disappointed because we were trying for three years. Janet offered to give me a physical at her office. At first, I declined but Janet convinced me to go. After a few hours, Janet came back and informed me that my ovaries are damaged. I was angry with the Aschen for them lying to me and sad that I could never have kids. At the Aschen solar observatory in D.C., I took a glimpse at the birth rates on Earth and found out that it has been decreased over 90%. At dinner, I told Janet, Daniel and Teal'c about what I found and all of them were shocked. All of us didn't know what to do until I came up with a plan to change the past. We all knew that we had to do it but we could not do it alone. We had to bring Jack in to help.  
  
After I came back from Jack's cabin, our conversation went less than anticipated. We argued and he didn't want to help. In the end, he did and I'm grateful for it but the GDO, required for this mission, at the SGC was a fake. I went to Joe because he could get the real one from the oval office. At home, I confronted him about the GDO and the Aschen's sterilization. What I didn't know was that he knew about it and he had the audacity to say that keeping the Stargate a secret was the same as keeping the Aschen's sterilization a secret. I was so mad at him but I knew that he was a good man. He would get it for us because he knew what was at stake.  
  
At the solar observatory, the next day, Janet, Daniel, Jack and I were waiting for Joe and the GDO. When Joe arrived, I was relieved that he kept his word but the GDO was not present. Joe made Jack agree that I would not be part of this plan but Jack had no choice. He agreed in not letting me be in the plan to get the GDO from Joe. What he did next shocked me because he pulled out a communicator and radioed in. After a few seconds, Aschen guards came rushing in. We were all taken to an underground Aschen laboratory. Teal'c was waiting for us because Jack arrested him on Chulak, Teal'c's home planet. I never realized that the Aschen would have this complex right under our noses but I should have known. If they could keep the sterilization a secret, they could keep this secret as well.  
  
Momlem, the Aschen representative, arrived to greet us with Jack right beside him in one of their VIP rooms. Teal'c was pretty angry with Jack for his betrayal to the team. Team.. I never thought of us as a team after Jack left and the Stargate was revealed to the public. When Teal'c was ready to make his move, Jack took out his personal side arm and pointed at all of us. Just then, Momlem pushed a button on a panel. From the ceiling, a big cylindrical tube with an occupant came down. When we saw who it was, we were all confused. Inside the tube was Jack O'Neill. At that Momlem informed us about the person whom we were talking to was a clone and not the real one. I felt as though someone ripped out my heart. The real Jack was dead and I never realized it. At that point, I began hating myself because I had so much to say to him. As I look around, everybody was stricken with sadness and guilt. They probably felt the same way as I did. Not all felt this way. Those two people were Joe and Momlem. I understand Momlem's feelings regarding this current situation but I never thought that Joe would be snickering. He probably thought that this was his good fortune. At that moment, I threw my ring at him and told him to get away from me. When Joe was coming towards me, Teal'c and Daniel stood between us and I swore that Teal'c stared at Joe with his deadly gaze. Momlem then instructed his guards to come in and escort the "ambassador" out.  
  
Momlem showed us a video data regarding Jack and his capture. It seems that he visited one of the Aschen's members, the Bolians. He went to see them and somehow uncovered information regarding the Aschen's true intentions. Jack came back and immediately called two people, ret. Major General Hammond, former CO of the SGC, and Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter. Since I was living with Joe, it was Joe who answered the phone. I only suspected that Joe contacted the Aschen about what Jack found. If Jack contacted General Hammond, I could now understand why the Aschen caused a heart attack on him. It was to get rid of him. Janet now realized that this whole mess could have been avoided if they trusted Jack and his gut instincts. Jack was captured, tortured and killed. Jack was cloned because Momlem anticipated that we would somehow discover what their anti- aging and anti-cancer vaccine would do.  
  
After what seem like hours, only a few minutes passed by, Momlem informed us that he needs our help. I actually scoffed at him saying that we would never help the Aschen after what they did to us. Jack, the clone, spoke to us about the war, the war with the Replicators. He caught our attention by announcing the destruction of the Asgard. Daniel asked Jack about contacting the Tollans and the Nox for their help. Jack replied that both races have been eliminated because the Aschen murdered them with a bio- weapon. There is nothing to prevent the replicators except to fight back.  
  
According to the statistics analyzed by the Aschen, even if all of the Jaffa could help us, the combined might of the Jaffa, humans and the Aschen is not be enough to contend with the Replicators. Momlem was asking us to help them defeat the Replicators. They could not since their technology is focused around Genetics. Since the Replicators are artificial life, the Aschen had no defense. Our engagements with the Replicators made us invaluable. I asked Momlem about Jack's memories. Couldn't he help them with the Replicators because they need tactical strategies? Momlem said yes but they still require my expertise, my ideas, and my ingenuity in dealing with the current threat.  
  
After a few hours of talking between us, Janet, Teal'c, Daniel and I decided to help the Aschen about the Replicators. When we did, Jack directed us to another room where President Kinsey and his administration are awaiting our arrival. Jack stepped aside and allowed us to view the huge room. It looked like the inside of the Pentagon. At first, it was uncomfortable with everyone watching you anticipating what to do following our orders. Jack was the one who did not talk. All he did was stare at me. I wonder if the real Jack is still in there. I doubt it because he is dead and I lost the chance to be with him a long time ago.  
  
The first problem discussed was not having the manpower. We know that the Replicators can mass-produce themselves instantly. The Aschen offered us an alternative, creating clones. I was shocked but I expected President Kinsey to object since he holds himself with high morals. However, he did not other than asking how many can be made. Daniel, Janet and I objected due to ethnics and the one being cloned. Momlem intervened stating that they already have the DNA from a suitable host: Jack O'Neill. Momlem explained how O'Neill's instincts are sharp, his tactical intelligence is important and how years of experience is useful. He is the ideal candidate to be cloned. In addition, we would not have to suffer through O'Neill's sarcasm because his DNA would be altered for fast growth and be made obedient. I did not object anymore because we were desperate and desperate people do desperate things.  
  
A year later, today, I looked back at my life and I realized that I have made bad choices regarding Jack and myself. I should have trusted him and stood by him. We could have avoided this fate if I listened him. I didn't and our world is fighting an enemy that does not sleep, does not eat and does not stop. President Kinsey approved to have all the SG teams reinstated. However, as the new CO of SG-1, Daniel, Teal'c and I still feel that we are not complete. Although a clone of Jack O'Neill has been assigned to our unit, we still fell that he does not belong. Our allies- Jaffa, Tollans, the Nox, the Asgard, and the Tok'ra are either dead or unwilling to help us. We have basically dug our own graves but the clones of Jack O'Neill are able to contain the Replicators. If the worst-case scenario occurs, President Kinsey authorized our plan to change the past.  
  
On a personal note, my divorce with Joe has been finalized. I moved out of our apartment and into my old house in Colorado Springs. I have been able to visit Jack's grave from time to time. Nevertheless, in the silence of the night, I wish him to be here with me. Cal me being greedy but I still want him here. I need him to be with me. Maybe, it is this feeling within the pit of my stomach, unfinished business. The clones remind me of him even though they do not talk, say sarcastic comments or look at me the same way that Jack used to. Daniel has a very soothing presence to be around with but it is not the same. Teal'c provides security when we are on the mission or on downtime. Jane got her old job back and her friendship is welcomed in these times. I hope that we are still here after the war.  
  
The Stargate has been removed from the JR Space Reed Terminal and back into SGC in the Cheyenne Mountain. A lot of the old personnel have returned but all felt the same presence, death. In the SGC, Major Feretti and Colonel O'Neill were the hilarious ones but even Feretti is not funny anymore. Nowadays, everybody is feeling pessimistic because Jack is gone. He was always the one who you can count on to the rescue or lead you to victory. Without him, we all sense that death is around the corner waiting to claim us. Even the clones do not offer any comfort when we won a crucial engagement. Just yesterday, we lost SG-3 and SG-20 because the Replicators ambushed them. It seems that the Replicators are now using androids in their arsenal. If the androids can replace SG team members, we will be destroyed by any of them. The SGC technicians have installed bio- scanners around the gate but it does not present an early detection. The war is still far form over because we will never give up and will resist to our last breath.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter 


End file.
